Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Pulling My hair out.

Ok I don't usually feel the need to rant and rave on my blog. but today I am just feeling super rotten. I am sure this is just normal, "I am a horrible mom" kind of day and I am sure everyone has them. But today for some reason was just awful. ALL I tried to do was take the kids to "rhyme time" at the library and I came home pulling my hair out. My morning went something like this:

1. Chloe freaked out for no reason and wouldn't let me get her dressed.
2. which caused me to yell at her cause i was stressed out cause we were gonna be late. (and i hate being late!)
3. which caused her to bawl uncontrollably while i forced her clothes on and yanked her into the car.
4. which then resulted in a whiney crying drive over there.
5. which proceeded to make her miserable and whine every time the story lady looked at her.
6. she then calmed down but would not listen and ran around chasing the chinese kids all over the room. Making so much noise the story lady had to ask her to stop, which made her cry some more.
7. so i just started to ignore her and play with ashley cause SHE was loving it.
8. chloe then decided to get super jealous and cry and push ashley off my lap. which caused her to get a time out for like 30 seconds of pure torture.
9. she then would not leave when i was trying to go with a full on kicking and screaming tantrum. my back was killing me and trying to carry that damn carseat i was pretty much in tears.
10. she ran away from me when we got outside almost getting hit by a car.
11. refused to hold my had so i had a hold of the back of her coat and had to drag/choke her all the way to the truck.
-fight her into her seat
-where i got kicked in the face
- i yelled again causing more crying
- gave her a drink so i could get some quiet.
12. pulled myself together and went and got me a boston cream to make me feel better. Good thing I have Ashley who didn't make a PEEP the entire time! Love that baby!!

This was all in like a 3 hour period. I was so emotionally drained when i got home i just wanted to cry! I mean who can't take their kids to the library once a week without wanting to slit their wrists?? ha ha Ugggh i just feel like I am horrible. I have been trying really hard to not let Chloe watch so much Tv, and trying to get out of our tiny house so she doesn't get so bored and out of control, but I feel like I am failing miserably. I know she probably is just in a super bad terrible 2's stage that will hopefully pass. But seriously she is just awful sometimes. And SO unbelievably LOUD!! I try time outs but i don't know if they are working. I mean she is not horrible ALL the time. she can be so sweet and loving but it is just like the most extreme emotions ALL the time. Is this normal? is this just who she is? will this pass??? I have heard that girls are hard because of the drama and I think I am beginning to agree with them. Usually I can keep my cool and mostly ignore the screaming and discipline her without getting upset, but for some reason today I just couldn't take it. I am in need of some help. All you moms with toddlers out there....any advice? Cause at this rate I am never going to leave my house again. and that would really really suck.

So while I feel Like I am horrible, and don't do enough stuff with my kids, or clean my house enough, or make supper, or get dressed every day. I am sure tomorrow will be a better day and when Chloe wakes up from her nap I will love her and try to do better. And hopefully swimming tonight will be a better experience than this morning. Cause while I love my 2 year old I don't love this face.

But I do Love her. Alot. And i am sure we will be fine. If I make it to bedtime that is.


Suz said...

I get ya Jenn...been feeling that way lately myself. I find with Cam that his freak outs mean he wants one on one time (which kills me b/c that behavior makes me want to run away from home.) Hang in there...tomorrow will be better. Kids forgive and forget easily too. You are a great mom!! Have fun at swimming.

Megan said...

Hang in there Jennie, we all have days like that. You are not a bad mom, just normal. Good luck!

Here are some good books that I would recommend: "Playful Parenting", and "Raising an emotionally intelligent child" (I think that's what it's called). I got both from the library.

Tina Heggie said...

She just wants to go swimming, that's all. She just has a hard time being patient! Haha aaaah, despite all her LOUD NOISES, I still just love her so much I can't stand it. Chlo Bum!

The Byams said...

jennie you are a great mom!! i know how you feel my boys are 11 months apart and for along time just leaving the house in general was a HUGE task! i still can't take them to the library or anywhere that requires them to be quite! its just not happening. you are not alone so don't be to hard on yourself.

Karlene said...

awe, i'm sorry but i laughed as i read it, and i know that sounds mean but i've sooo been there. ryder was my TERROR!!!! oh my, it gives me anxiety to think about it haah, but yes it does get better and who cares if you don't get dressed everyday, i sure as heck don't lol. and one of the most common comments that i've heard from older ppl is that they wish they let thier kids play more and didn't worry about a clean house....so thats my motto! hang in there.......... give me 3 more months and i'll be doing a heck of a lot of ranting with my 18 month old and newborn PLUS a 7 and 5 year old..blah :)

Tyler and Kristin Smith said...

I loved this post - I've had days so similar it's frightening.
P.S. You are a great mom. None of us are perfect, and the best part about kids?
You're their best friend a minute later. They really are forgiving.

kelsey said...

Oh Jennie. You aren't a bad mom. I agree, everyone has those days. I had one just a couple of days ago! ha. It's hard, I think they just need to outgrow it, which sounds so far away to me some days. . .

The book megan recommended, "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child" is one that I also HIGHLY recommend. I studied it for my parenting class and it was so great. It's something I'm trying to implement with Norah right now and she responds well to it. Sometimes though, I find myself frustrated when I know I shouldn't be. They are two, they are tiny and don't know any better! ha.

I'm no expert, but I am definitely right there with ya. Wish we lived closer so we could chat in person about our bad days! lol.

The Ririe Family said...

Jennie, Chloe is a typical 2 year old. We deal with the screaming, on the way out the door, kicked in the face getting strapped in and all that too. I try to give options (what shoes and coat do you want to wear? which sometimes backfires!) and warnings and it works sometimes. I will go get that book a few people have recommended. 2 year olds are disruptive and loud and have a hard time following instructions, so I steer clear of "library" type settings, for shear self preservation, and try to get to active classes. There are some fun ones at the YMCA that we try to get to. We are always looking for people to go with too, so let me know if your interested. And try to hang in there! We are in the same boat!

lyndsay said...

I had this day today as well but it involved two hysterical children, a cracked fish tank a dead fish in the bed sheets, a tipped over dresser and fish water everywhere!!! Now they're in bed and the fish has been revived!!!!

Good luck my third is coming and I may very well be sent to the psych ward!!!!

By the way just focus on your talents and the things you do accomplish rather than the things you don't!! I am always feeling like I don't do enough!!!