Nobody told me!!

So its been a long couple of months for me over at the Holt house. I debated whether or not to share my troubles so publicly on my blog. but I sort of feel like its my duty?? is that dumb? ha ha I feel like i need to share this cause nobody told ME that this could happen. and frankly i am a little pissed off about it. you are forewarned that this is entirely a post full of TMI. continue if you feel the need.

About 3 months ago i went to my doctor in search of some birth control options. I do not fare well on the pill and was wondering what my other options were when my dr. explained to me that i should definitely get and IUD because they are wonderful, and everyone loves them and they are good for 5 years, painless and worry free....blah blah blah a whole bunch more horse crap. He just made it sound so perfect and totally talked me into getting one.

Now of course I was dumb enough not to look it up or ask enough questions as to how it was all going to go down. but as I am laying there getting ready for my "just feels like a rough pap test" sort of insertion, the nurse says to me all jokingly, "so you will have to come back in a couple of months and tell me if it was worth it!" ......what??? why?? i am now starting to get a little nervous. He told me it wasn't going to hurt!!??? well lets just all note that a MAN doctor can in no way tell you how it is going to feel. because let me tell you.....it hurt. like. HELL!!! like holy frack i thought i was in labor again or something, and then almost passed out, and then couldn't walk straight for a day or two.

Ok so that was ok, after the first initial couple of days with ALOT of cramping and pinching (which apparently is normal) i thought, ok this might not be too bad after the bleeding stops, maybe it will all be worth it?? then a couple of weeks go by and i am still waiting for that bleeding to stop.....and a few weeks after that i call my dr. and he says to give it a few more weeks. ooookay. this is when i knew something was up. after like 8 weeks i finally went in to get checked and he said all was good and it was in place and yada yada. ok then why am i STILL bleeding and cramping??? wtf?? no answers really. so then 2 weeks later enough was enough i was done, get this thing outta me!!

I went in to get it out and was nervous about it hurting cause of the extremely pain i was in when they put it in. But we didn't quite get that far. two words you REALLY don't want to hear when you are all too vulnerable, spread eagle and in the stirrups...."uh oh" greeeeat what NOW??? "ummm i can't seem to locate it" WHAT??? what do you MEAN?? where the EFF did it go?? (i might have had a few choice words at this point that are not blogger friendly) all he had to say was that i had to get an ultrasound to see where it was so they could "fish" it out. fuuuuuun.

So at this point i am just a tad bit upset, but i calmly go to my ultrasound, only to get zero results and have to then get an x-ray. which you then have to wait like 2 days to get results from. and as i am just walking out the door to my girls night out, i get the call from the doctor saying "yaaaa soo it looks like the IUD has wandered off and gone through your uterine wall and is hanging out somwhere in your abdomen" as i am breaking down into tears and swearing left and right he explains that this happens and i will just have to get it removed. but seriously WHY didn't anyone TELL ME this could happen??? I was told NO potential problems or side effects that could happen with this piece of crap birth control. I mean i am horrible at asking the right questions (i am half retarded) but isn't that their JOB??? geez. aaaannnnyways so that is my story. i have one of these......floating around just above my hip bone apparently.

and I am scheduled to get it surgically removed tomorrow. gag. like REAL put me to sleep shove a tube down my throat, cut me open surgery......sounds like a party eh? I really hope my month is better next month. cause on top of this i got tendonitis in my elbow, the worst tonsillitis of my life, and i have 3 cavities.....what gives?? i hope everyone is having a better month than me!! and while i am sure some people love them and think they are the greatest things since sliced bread, in case you were thinking about getting an IUD as your form of birth control....i personally will not be recommending it to anyone.